Privileged, white women? The worst.

By Allison McNeely On August 13, 2010 · 7 Comments · In Feminism, Pop Culture

Julia, looking loved up and happy. How dare she?

So, as I’m sure you’ve heard, Eat, Pray, Love is gracing us with its presence on the big screen, starting this weekend. And the lady blogs and bloggers have been having a field day. Blogs like Jezebel and Feministing have been saying absolutely nothing new about Elizabeth Gilbert and her memoir, but are still making a big deal out of the film’s debut.

Courtney at Feministing, while she wasn’t hating on Eat, Pray, Love, felt compelled to point out that most people can’t escape to an Indian asharam when the going gets tough.

Jezebel has been crazy with the coverage – photos from the premiere, a story about attending the premiere, questioning whether or not Gilbert ruined Bali, discussing self-help culture and how tough it is to be upper middle class and white. I’m not going to link to all their posts, but here’s a link to their hashtag on the topic.

Bitch wrote an essay about priv-lit and women’s insatiable desire for enlightenment. To be honest, I didn’t get through the entire article, because I immediately felt talked down to.

The lady blog coverage of Eat, Pray, Love seems obsessed with reminding us that Gilbert is privileged, special and even a bit self-indulgent. That not all of us can afford to travel, gallivant and eat exquisitely. That not everyone can escape to Italy, India and Indonesia when their life goes down the toilet. Funny, I didn’t really need that explained to me. So why are they dragging on about it?

Many feminists seems to have a complicated relationship with Gilbert and her work (specifcally, Eat, Pray, Love and Committed.) There seems to be some almost jealousy of her good fortune, which explains the incessant reminders that her story is unique and not a reality of for most people, but also an enduring fascination with her. It’s like they want to make her problems trivial, but they can’t hate her enough to follow through. They kind of really like her.

I think this is because feminism has an uneasy relationship with women (generally, caucasian) who are relatively well-off in life. They can’t be real feminists. They don’t know real suffering and struggle, therefore, what the hell do they know about feminism? Their problems are all silly and a reflection of their twisted socialization, as opposed to legitimate issues.

(For the record, this has happened to me. I wrote about it here.)

There are actually a lot of feminist aspects to Gilbert’s story. Leaving your husband is hard, you’re purposefully and bravely dismantling your entire life. I think that takes great courage. Gilbert had the courage to not just leave her husband, but to take up with a younger boyfriend and following that relationship’s demise, to gallivant around the world for a year. I think it’s in Gilbert’s selfish and self-indulgent behaviour that we can see acts of feminism. She fought for her own happiness.

She acted like a man. She made a choice that put her happiness first, and she didn’t care what other people thought. We all know that any woman at her age who leaves her husband and travels for a year with no real plans is considered a flake, immature, selfish, foolish. I think that she was brave.

Feminism is about women, all women. The tendency to write off Gilbert’s experiences as shallow and consumerist is the very bitchiness that causes so many internal problems within feminism. She’s not feminist enough for you, so you’re going to rip apart her year of self-exploration on your blog. Cool. Would it be better for you if she was a single mother with a drug problem?

http://www.undercoverfeminist.com Kelly

So, so true. The whole idea that there is a right way to be a feminist is flawed. Feminism is often a journey of discovery. What am I facing, what are other women and men facing, how has society pushed these struggles onto us, and which struggles have we created for ourselves. People who have been feminists for years expect a newbie to feminism (or even just a woman trying to find herself) who somehow entered the limelight to be just as enlightened as they are. …or they think they are.

I know the your not a good enough [insert movement] sentiment isn't limited to feminism. Maybe we can find a movement that was able to overcome the differences inherent in people to work toward a common goal.

allisonmcneely

Thanks for your comment, Kelly.

Touching of the concept of "enlightenment," not only do some feminists seem to think that there is a right way to be enlightened, it has to be their way of enlightenment.

I'm really interested in women's issues and feminism and have been a feminist for a long time, but I am highly critical of the dogmatic approach that can exist in feminism. We're shooting ourselves in the foot. I meet women who have feminist beliefs but are hesitant to identify themselves as such, because they don't want to be thought of as crazy people.

And you know what? I can't blame them.

And you're right, the concept that you're not a "good enough" (insert movement) exists in many other political and social contexts. And it's a real shame.

http://www.initiative180.com Steph

I LOVE THIS POST ! Chanced upon it from Grace Boyle's blog – smallhandsbigideas.com.

I honestly think those who denounce Gilbert have not really listened to her story. She speaks of such struggle – remember the whole year when she spent in misery with her husband before she got a divorce?

She is so raw in expressing herself and her journey is explicitly about finding happiness for herself, to be at peace with herself. That's not just feminist, that's humanist to me.

It's human to want to find love and happiness. It's just human.

Thank you so much for writing this and voicing your point of view. How many of us would have done what Gilbert did before she did it anyway?

** And fyi you critics out there, she actually went off her year long journey with just enough money to sustain for that ONE year.

How many of us are brave enough to do that and hope that the money will come along? She also did not receive the royalties for Committed till a year of 'Eat Pray Love' was published.

allisonmcneely

Thanks for your comment, Steph. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed the post.

Not only did Gilbert go off with enough money for that one year, she paid for it with the advance that her publisher gave her for the book idea that would become Eat, Pray, Love. So really, she didn't just wander off without a plan. She wandered off to recover from her divorce and the sense of feeling lost, but she intended all along to do something with her experience.

I once heard someone say that women "overshare" because their stories have not been told in history. I thought that was a neat idea. What some would call "oversharing" with a woman, would be considered "honest and intelligent" from a man. There is a double-standard that is so easy to believe, I find myself believing it sometimes.

Gilbert may have been a tad self-indulgent, but she was also brave.

Pingback: Writer Alison McNelly Challenges Feminists About Their Negative Views Of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Memoir Eat, Pray, Love! « GayBlackCanadianman
http://www.matrixscientific.com/pyrimidines.html Burt Rezai

One more great blog post! I shared this one on Facebook – i suggest you add a “like” button to your posts.
hislop123

women “over-share” because they are emotional gropers and voyeurs with no sense of propriety; they are self-absorbed, solipsistic and childish and our society indulges them – at least if they are white females. Bitch and whine and use the long-ago past to justify your misandry in the present; that is all most white american females are good for. They are a cancer eating away at the innards of american civilization and we all know it